


If Only...

by sanctum_c



Series: Tifa Week 2020 [2]
Category: Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Missing Scene, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25228729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctum_c/pseuds/sanctum_c
Summary: The myriad points Tifa feels the past could have gone so differently.
Series: Tifa Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1827742
Kudos: 1





	If Only...

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt 'Cause it’s some kind of sin to live your whole life on a might’ve been. I’m ready now.” - caution by the killers.'

There was a familiar litany in Tifa’s head.

If only she hadn’t remembered the old stories, the old fairy tales. If only she hadn’t believed somewhere beyond the mountains was where the dead went. That Mom was now there. If only she had not – so young and utterly unprepared – tried to cross.

She would not have fallen, would not have lost a week between blinks of her eyes. Would not have suffered her father’s overbearing over-protectiveness for years after.

If only she had said something more at the well. To Squall, to Zidane, to Tidus, to Vaan. Made clear how much she would miss them. Even Cloud, the loner and outsider. Weird to not catch a glimpse of him every day. She never felt what they felt, but she missed their presence in the town. Now she was almost the last child of the town. So many promises, all conditional. Cloud’s oddly unique amongst them. A secret wish to a boy who never could or would tell anyone else.

But she had no use for the promise after, no notion of its fulfillment. There would be no rescuer. She could not rely on someone else. So she trained. She learned to fight. She revisited and conquered the mountain. Crossed the mountain to find- More world. A mountain sloping down and into the grasslands leading out towards Rocket Town and Wutai further still.

The if only of her childhood had not held her back. She defied it.

But sometime after her fifteenth birthday:

If only the Mako taint in the air had not grown stronger day after day, the discolouration of the air unavoidable. If only Shinra did not deem its reactor proprietary; if only there was someone in town still with the skills and access to fix it. No one they could turn to; nothing to do except ask, beg Shinra for their intervention. Coincidence or causation when the monster attacks became so much more frequent at the time?

If only Shinra sent a technician or some nameless Third Class SOLDIER. If only Sephiroth and Zack Fair had not come to town. Shinra’s shining star and a man no one had heard of. A few troopers.

If only she hadn’t guided them up to the reactor. No. Foolish. If not her, there were others who knew the trails. Sephiroth would have entered the reactor regardless. But perhaps she could claim to be ignorant of the warning signs. To not witness the difference between entrance and exit; from a cold, restless Sephiroth who could make small talk to one who hurried down the mountain, who ignored those around him. Who vanished into the interior of the Shinra mansion. And all Zack would do was shrug, unwilling or unable to articulate anything of what happened inside the structure. He too boasted a different look in his eyes.

If only the leak remained. If only the nuisance issue might take blame for what unfolded next. The air clearer. The monster attack intensity plummeted. Sephiroth and Zack remained. If only they had gone.

What had Sephiroth learned in some hidden space within the Shinra mansion? Mysteries now. If only Tifa's courage allowed her to explore the mansion as she explored the mountain. Might have found the dark secrets and destroyed them. Or perhaps they would have claimed her like they did him.

If only Sephiroth had not started the fire.

The heat and flames, the yellow glare of the fire, the smoke. Sephiroth returning to the mountain trail – and her father in pursuit, demanding action, demanding apologies and recompense. If only he had stayed and helped the town.

If only.

If only she had not followed him along the trail. She should have stayed; the mayor’s daughter. Should have helped deal with the survivors. Kept Dad from chasing Sephiroth. Left such heroics to Zack, though she had no idea where he vanished to. No way for her to trust SOLDIER.

If only she had not entered the reactor. Might not have seen Dad’s body, still and bleeding on the floor, the murder weapon right at hand.

If only she had not picked up the Masamune; intent on spilling Sephiroth’s blood as he had her father.

What had Sephiroth seen within this place to make him act as he did? Tifa observed machinery and Mako and unfamiliar devices. And him. Standing at the top of the stairs under an unfamiliar word painted in huge letters on the wall. She moved to strike him.

If only she had stopped there. Or a moment before. Or a hundred moments before.

If only.

But after came the pain, the shock, the darkness, and disorientation.

After she was here in Midgar. Alone. Thousands of miles from home – and likely no home to return to. Her medical expenses paid by some mysterious benefactor.

If only-

No. If only did not help. She was here and she needed to deal with the situation. Sephiroth reported dead – no mention of Zack. She could no longer have her revenge upon her father’s murderer. But she might have a chance to strike back at his creator. At Shinra.


End file.
